Delk – Part II
June 7,
When last we left our hero (me), he had just received a packet of delk from a well-known pop artist.
The next day, I, along with Nigel, pored over the instructions that came with the delk. Before we could get started in earnest, Persephone strolled out of Nigel’s bedroom (I had no idea she had been there!) wearing only a Souxie and the Banshees T-shirt of Nigel’s. While she was, admittedly, quite attractive, there was something about her that made me uncomfortable. The doorbell rang. It was Amy (Anenome) and Ritchie with danish and coffee. *
In my foolish need to impress my new friends, I told them of the delk. They were naturally curious and we examined the note together. It was printed on a high quality paper in Fraktur, although it was in English. It smelled of stale tobacco, burnt sugar and sweat.
The instructions specified that the delk was best taken as a suppository or in food, preferably in a bechamel sauce. Persephone brightened up. “This is the perfect chance to finally put that suppository making class from high school to use!”** After an uncomfortable silence, Ritchie offered, “Or we could just put it in the sauce and eat it.” He said this slowly and deliberately. After another moment of silence, we all jumped in and agreed. Persephone sulked. I don’t know if she was embarrassed or disappointed. She was always difficult to read.
Nigel suddenly burst from his chair with great enthusiasm. “Bechamel sauce! Bechamel sauce! We must discover it’s secrets!” He ran to the bookshelf, grabbing reference books at random, consulting the index, then throwing the volume over his shoulder, hitting Ritchie at least once.
These reference books included the Encyclopedia Judaica vol. 8, Musik in Geschichte und Gegenwart, bd. 21, the 2nd Encyclopedia of Comic Books Heroes,*** World Book Encyclopedia, vol. 1, The Snoopy Cyclopedia, vol. 1 and a Spanish reference on biology that I am not familiar with. He became increasingly frantic.
“Nigel!” cried Amy. “Nigel! Nigel! Calm down! Flour, butter and milk! It’s flour, butter and milk! I know how to make it!” Immediately, Nigel composed himself and returned to his easy chair. “Come to think of it,” Amy continued, “You taught me how to make it, Persephone. Why didn’t you say anything?” Persephone merely shrugged.
We returned to the instructions. “During the ritual, there must be one individual who does not participate. He or she must engage in vigorous physical exercise, alternating this activity with the performance of quadratic equations. The equations need not be solved correctly as long as the proper effort is made,” Nigel read.
“We must draw straws!” Nigel ran to the cupboard, grabbing a handful of bendy straws. He pulled a giant cleaver from a bottom drawer and chopped the top off of a single straw. This sickening thud reverberated throughout the flat.
He brought the straws into the room obscuring their lengths. We all chose straws and you can imagine who chose the shorter one. “But P.,” Amy said, “You were the one who found the delk! This isn’t fair. We’ll draw again.”
“No, no, Amy. It’s all in good fun. Fair’s fair.” To be honest, I was a bit relieved. So it was settled. We decided on a mutually convenient time. That Sunday at 6 PM. If only we knew had lay ahead.
* I should mention that Anenome’s recollections of that morning differ from my own, but not in any significant way.
** No, I’m not sure where she went to high school.
*** Borrowed from Ritchie. To the best of my knowledge, never returned.
